You Should Never Blink

…unless to silently applaud your panoramic intake and pulse.

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The only thing we’ll have control is our own decisions. And the key to happiness is decisiveness. An easy concept with a difficult practice, especially living in a franchised world of choice.

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What I’m learning on my pursuit of happiness is that while beautiful things can create from shades of gray… grey, whatever… Shades of Gray suck!

My sister-in-law once told me that there is only black and white and that grays were just excuses or lies. I’ve been sitting on this thought for almost a year, and I’ve decided that this is true. The only truth that exists is the ones we decide to believe and what we believe is determined by a yes or no, not a maybe.

Anything between a wrong and right, yes and no, or even a truth and lie falls into “50 Shades of Grey,” a.k.a bullsh*t. Ha, just kidding, I can’t hold that opinion because I never read the book or series because it all sounded like nonsense to me. However, in all seriousness happiness is decisiveness.

On that note—decisiveness for a twentysomething is one heck of a struggle. I wonder everyday if I am moving forward, remaining stagnant, and often think “what the f*ck am I doing.”

You know what I’m struggling with in my twentysomething? Deciding when I am right, when I am wrong, determining when I am just being stubborn and when to let it go. I am struggling to find my path. And I feel like the only thing I’ve got down is finding a way to appreciate life itself.

“Girls are good at journaling.”

A guy told me that hanging out the other day as he sold himself short in being able to write. The truth couldn’t have been said any better than Ernest Hemingway himself, “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

Anyway that guy shared with me kind words about my perspective on my last blog “Do Every Stupid Thing.” In-fact a few people have said/shared some really nice feedback about my last posting and I want to thank everyone of you that takes the time to peer into my head. It’s a gratified feeling realizing that your thoughts are similarly shared with others… or least cared about. What a messy mind I run but it oils well for me.

As far as writing goes it is a scary thing because it documents your thoughts and people will always challenge those thoughts. You have to own it and hold your grounds of heart. Some people will ridicule and call you stupid or praise and call you genius while all you were trying to do is figure things out and share the experience along the way.

You know that song “Royals” by Lorde? She blows my mind, the lyrics to her song are just incredible. I’m kind of jealous (scratch that) inspired that a 17 year old could create such heavy words. I wish at 17 I had been able to create something so impressive but hey we develop out our own pace.

So don’t blink, unless of course to applaud the beautiful world that stands before us. It is a mess but it is our own and we can keep creating change.

California Living (Life Update)

  • I moved from Oceanside to La Jolla… La Jolla is amazing and the absolute closest I’ve ever lived by the water. I walk out the front door and the water reflects sparkles in my eyes, it’s incredible.
  • I’m a little exhausted in information intake and life in general but still truckin’ and I am so thankful. This weekend I am going on a camping trip for a break though to Anza-Borrego Desert. I am so stoke!
  • I will be seeing Phantogram this month!!! With a couple great friends that always inspire deep belching laughter, it will be grand.
  • I just got an invite to help with the AMA Awards radio press at the end of Nov. and I am so excited 🙂
  • Signed up for my first Yoga classes.. I really need to take care of my body structure because I feel like I am turning crooked. I guess I’ll give it a shot 🙂
  • really a lot has happened but those last five bullets were the highlight

Crap I have a lot to do tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow I will have October’s Urban Angels feature volunteers posted on their blog. Had a little difficulty scheduling interviews but now I have all the information so I’ll try to hammer something out. Be sure to be on its look out.

Anyway— dear reader, whoever you are, thank you for your eyes and time. Thank you for all the encouragement and feeding my source of energy. I get tired but it is worth every ounce of me. I hope I return as much inspiration as you share with me. And if you are ever feeling short I am always available to be reached; however give me some time to respond, I am still overwhelmed everyday. I’m human and it’s a beautiful thing 😉

wholeheart

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