I’m not sure what compelled me to turn my car around that day, good conversation or a gut feeling, but after I shifted to park I stepped out my car and just stood in front of his really nice BMW. I can’t tell you the series or year of its make, but I can tell you the body looked like a magazine ad – flirtatious and ornate. I could feel the desire and appetite of prosperity in materialistic want. Not that wanting nice things is a bad, but I hate when I overcompensate in ambition. Balance in life is so delicate and trying to keep it healthy is a simple concept in a difficult practice.
I didn’t know this man outside of a brief conversation, but I had to know his story. Maybe I am crazy but when it comes to pursuing success I want it as bad as I want life to every word. And whatever it takes (within my moral concerns) I am going to do it. I stood in front of this mans car because my gut feeling told me our encounter would inspire a deeper reaction. These unexplained bold moves I dance to in life, the ones without a logical rationale, is my unconventional way of living. And I work to not take for granted the importance of my everyday interactions.
“The heart will know today what the mind will learn tomorrow.”
The windows were tinted and I could only peek in on this man’s mystery because the drivers side window was cracked. On the passenger seat his MacBook cushioned a fancier lifestyle than that of my own. A piece of machine with “higher” status than me, program to move faster and established to characterize prestige. In my head I felt creepy like a stalker standing in front of a strangers car, but I knew my intentions and those weren’t creepy. I am glad I got his attention because whether he knows it or not he inspired me to further push my dream to a reality.
While stealthily pursuing answers to questions that I didn’t even know I had questions for I realized just how consumed the world has become to the digital age. This man’s laptop was his front seat passenger. His conversations were eye-strains on a screen and wavelengths with no facial expressions. We’re slowly becoming as artificial as diet soda, it’s a fake bubbly feeling. You know it’s almost as real as that compliment the lady in Givenchy gave the woman wearing the costume jewelry she bought off a grandma’s yard sale. I don’t understand why we like to dramatize, but we do, and to me that is just silly, as silly as my thoughts can train away.
It fascinates me what we allow ourselves to get consumed by. For example: a career that spends more time behind a screen than organically interacting with our own kind. Some people like to be subdue and work in the defined lines of a 9-5, they prefer the monotonous press for the dollar. And those are the people that remind me that not everyone thinks like me.
Anyway, I have dreams of owning my business, of promoting sustainable life practices, re-inspiring human interaction, helping others and spreading happiness. I want to be the best human I can be even in my imperfections. I want to re-establish relationships and influence our connection to one another because that is how much I love people. And my God do I have a long road ahead of myself, but thank God the right people have been placed in my life to get me through.
It’s amazing how a gut feeling can press you forward on an impulse and it’s odd how life reveals itself to its own grinding gears. I’ve convinced myself that success is found in the things you love so long as you work for, at, and with it. “Keep hard working at it and you’ll be fine,” said the man in an email after we exchanged contact info. and kept in touch.
The biggest resistance I face, we all face, are the reactions we have towards our thoughts working against our dreams. It’s a challenge that will never get easier, and we’ll face for the rest of our lives, but we will get stronger and we will get through it. We have to.
I’m convinced that the best opportunities exist anywhere you choose to make people believe it exists. It’s deciding where people most inspire you and fulfill the love you need to create that dream.
One Year, One Month, And 25 days of California (LIFE UPDATE)
- Obviously I am in a relationship. I love it so much that I hate it. I am now in that obnoxiously cute and head over heel. It’s silly because for me I am so happy it’s suspicious to my own feelings. Why is that? I think it’s because what builds us up can easily tear us down and that’s a fear to react to.
- I moved to a new part of San Diego, North Park, I LOVE the location and my roommates. I miss La Jolla and I miss my Carabear but at least both are within reasonable distance for a visit 🙂 Also my best friend from Atlanta will be moving here for the summer and will be 1 mile away from mi casa!
- I still have 3 jobs, but I’m trying to shed that down and refocus my life and business plans.
- I am still following my New Year’s Resolutions pretty closely… there has been minor adjustments to the plan but that’s life, right? Whatever it takes for the results.
- badda dee badda dee badda that’s all folks… at least all I’m willing to share right now.