Sometimes it doesn’t matter how many reminders we write ourselves because we still forget. Tonight I am looking at a stack of 6 incomplete journals with notes, quotes, hurt, love, and reminders of where I’ve been.
“If you’re not paying attention to what you’re working with – what are you paying attention to?”
While I have been moving forward, and I feel I have been doing well for myself, I’ve come to realize how much I’ve been holding myself back. As I reflect on the year I begin to accept my own defeats, find all the things to be thankful for, and gracefully accept starting over.
In 2015 I somewhat lost my comfort in eye contact with strangers. I barely wrote any letters. I didn’t volunteer and can only think of one stranger I served. I didn’t rekindle the relationships I wanted. I allowed myself to be influenced with criticism and questioned my own intensions that didn’t deserve to be. I lost a bit of confidence in myself. I felt discouraged as well as physically and emotionally drained. I didn’t really set goals for myself but drifted.
While it is disappointing to admit my many fails to myself — I must say what I have to be thankful for is so much greater. And tomorrow is a new Dawn.
So for 2015 I did not set any substantial goals. 2016 I’m replenishing myself and intend to kick some serious ass.
I have my goals scribbled and doodled in my sketch book for myself, and I only intend to share a couple on here. I won’t share the entire list as it includes finances and personal goals that are none of your damn business (unless I choose to share with you).
Here were my goals for 2014 :
Please note that this was a draft and not a finished list… and yes I am aware I misspelled create on the original draft.
The two miss on my list for 2014 was sky diving and visiting the redwoods.
If you notice in 2014 I set a goal to write 365 letters in 365 days. That was WAY too bold for myself; however, I did not feel it was unrealistic. In 2014 I had a long running to meet my goal and then life happened and distractions happened and I gave up for a few other reasons I prefer not to share.
In 2014 I wrote about 130 letters before moving back to Georgia, starting a new career, being in a relationship, and starting over from scratch. The letters I wrote also took a lot more time and effort than I anticipated, but sharing the love was well worth it.
This year I anticipate being very busy with my goals, however I want to pick up on the letters. I believe in letters and the art of writing. I once said, “I want my words to stretch as far as the best kind of hug imagine. I want to timelessly secure comfort to several situations by providing insight to meaning that others will discover on their own. One day my words will be borrowed for clarity or strength in situations I will never know or understand. I’ll contribute beyond myself and continue to be proud of the ink my pages add to our stories, our mankind.” I’d like some help with accountability.
I am openly making a promise to write you a letter if you should request one… Well to be realistic for this year it will be for the first to respond up to 182. I don’t anticipate 182 requests, so who knows how many people I will be hitting up for addresses. I have no idea what I will write you, but it will be open and honest.
Another goal I set was to volunteer. If you have suggestions around the Atlanta area I encourage your email to share. Other than that I really don’t care to share my other goals, unless over a cup of coffee and face-to-face interaction 😉
2016 will be a extraordinary year, so go kick ass!
“Within your heart, keep one still, secret spot where dreams may go.”