Advice For The Boy

life, thoughts

Wanting To Date Me …

I always convince myself it will be a “responsible” day of errands, a check list crossed and every sense of adulthood achieved. And then I realize it’s my day off.  And that for the sake of my sanity—the bills can wait, research of maintenance on my car can pend another day, clothes can spill across my floor, and I can move to my own relaxing rhythm.

Today I wore the glory days of my college track & field sweats with the not so glory days of my favorite over-sized hoodie that I kept from my ex boyfriend. I had every intention to return his hoodie until I realized I owed him nothing—no apologizes and no effort to mend our very unfortunate and messy ending. While we both made mistakes along the way, in the end, I was the person disassembled and belittled. Thankfully, looking back, I conditioned myself to roll with the punches and charge forward. It is so strange to see how much I’ve achieved in a little under two years and how much I’ve blossomed into the comfort of my own skin and being. And this hoodie, even with its negative impression, is still my favorite. How strange, right?

He did attempt to salvage a friendship a year and a half later, but by then I had already realized how I wanted to live my life and what I was willing to tolerate regarding the people in it. I will never be perfect, but I will always strive to be a better friend and to never under any circumstance talk down upon someone. The process of rebuilding self-worth is not easy. What I’ve learned is how to let people go and how to recognize the relationships to cultivate. And what of this broad single perspective backstory of my last relationship? My understanding of  love, the importance of communication, and my current issues with dating.

It’s amazing how much the subject of relationships is discussed amongst girls, boys, co-workers, strangers, and everyone really. So I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately because the discussion seems to find me in someway everyday. We’re all curious in our expertise and everyone wants to find a real love. I’m one to speak because I haven’t found what’s worth the good fight, yet. Well—maybe I did, but when we met I wasn’t ready and I was entirely overwhelmed. After my ex I met the boy who loved me in that unexplainable sense, entirely for who I was, and it was very real. And I fought against it and left everything behind to pursue my dreams for myself. And I’m still working hard to pursue my dreams but I think I’m ready to share the experience with someone now. And my current issues with dating is that I’m picky and I know what I want.

First—I want someone to take the time to know me and to understand how important my writing is to me because it is my best method of communication. Communication is the key component of success in every sense of any relationship. I am the words I bleed and I feel it is my most pure raw form.

And this is all just suggestion and kind of general guide to girls (I think):

  • Listen & Observe—figure out beforehand if you enjoy her personality. Decide if her outrageous ideals, poise or goofy mannerisms, and smile are worth the exploration and pursuit. And while you’re deciding pay attention because the minute details you remember are what will aid towards your winning her over. If she is high maintenance and loves lavished things—I hope you have money, ha. If she likes simplicity and moments in good company, be creative and don’t over do it.
  • Flatter—if you’re interested in a girl then ask her out properly and risk a rejection. Don’t wait on the confusion of are we just friends or does us hanging out everyday or us emotionally connecting mean more. Maybe it’s not fair for the guy to have all the pressure of initiator but the guy should be the initiator! Otherwise don’t be bummed if you never escape the friend zone because you never tried.
  • Chivarly— A girl will always appreciate held doors, pulled out chairs, jackets on a cold night, a sense of security in the presence of opportune danger. As a female I can say it’s very attractive and all my friends and I are quick to discuss the practiced mannerisms during girl talk because those acts rarely exist today.
  • Compliments—women live insecurely because of the pressure created by the market world. You have no idea how we’ve been conditioned to feel about our looks… make up, surgery, fake hair, lashes, blah blah blah. We spend time grooming and it should be recognized, feed the ego 😛
  • Build Anticipation—keep the exciting tension for as long as possible.
  • Communicate—be real and honest and keep the dialogue going.

Treat a woman right and watch her bloom.

I also adore hand made things and appreciate any creativity of something.

I just really like this song.